Hey there! My name is Brian
I am currently out at Moranbah sitting in a small donga (little apartment) by myself writing this post. Why am I in Moranbah? Because this is where my day job takes me, I am a surveyor by day and a creator by night trying to win the online game and make a decent living from being a content creator (Blogger & E-commerce Entrepreneur).
I have been a surveyor for some time now, probably 18 years in the industry but have been constantly trying to get out, but it keeps dragging me back, mainly because of the money side of things I need to pay the bills! I usually come out here for 4-5 days away from the family then back for the weekend to play and have fun with my favourite people!
But when you really think about it I’m spending half my life without my loved ones, and if I continue down this road for many years to come I will only see my kids half the time they are under our roof. They will then leave home and I will hardly see them ever again most likely (Christmas time, holidays etc).
Someone said the other day that the time you spend with your children from 0-18 is 80% of the time you will spend with them in your lifetime! That’s sad.
So the majority of Adults these days work 5 days a week from 8 am – 5 pm, add 30 minutes travel to each end and that’s 10 hours a day you are at work. You get home and probably play for 30 minutes, then it’s dinner time and time to clean up, then it’s making lunches, doing homework, chores, organising the next day and then bedtime.
You get 2 days off per week to hang out, and these go by very quickly if your kids have friends or play a sport, you may only get to hang out for half the weekend, then before you know it, it’s back to the daily grind!
So when you really look at it you aren’t spending that much quality time with your loved ones while they are at home. This has to change, you only get one chance with your children so enjoy it.
You probably have a mortgage, car loan, and bills to pay!
This is what really traps you and locks you into that daily grind for most of your life, loans, debts, higher purchases, credit cards, insurances, schools, phones, toys, and day to day bills. No wonder most of us don’t have a life!
This stuff (material possessions ) is keeping us from really enjoying life and spending time with loved ones.
We have been fooled and tricked by society into thinking that if we strive for the nice house, nice car, nice stuff we will be happy! This is not true, the nice stuff will excite you for a few months while it is new and shiny. Then slowly over time it will become a burden and start costing more and more to maintain and repair.
You will have to keep on earning more and more money to keep up with this lifestyle, which means working hard and spending less time with your family.
No wonder most kids don’t really have a great relationship with their dads! they are never home, so they grow further and further apart until neither party wants to hang out with each other.
Then the kids become out of control! This is probably because mum and dad are so busy trying to make money they stop giving attention to their offspring and they just do what is natural, they looking for some of the human’s basic needs such as connection/love, significance, and some certainty, all that they aren’t getting from home.
We all had it sorted in our early 20’s
Remember back to your 20’s when you finally had a job that paid ok and had no debts, no loans, no worries. You would dream up big plans, aim for anything, live for the now and really enjoy every moment.
That was until the bloody older generation got involved and really began to mess things up,
- “When are you going to grow up”?
- “When are you going to settle down”?
- “When are you going to get married”?
- “When are you going to buy a house”?
- “When are you going to have kids”?
- “You need to think about your future, your retirement”?
This is when they began to plant the seed of fear and doubt into your minds, which over time erodes your dreams and inspiration for being just you.
So naturally, you followed everyone’s footsteps, be wise, take the job that pays the best, sacrifices for the future, don’t follow your dreams that doesn’t pay the bills.
That’s when you slowly lose yourself, you buy a house that is slightly too high for your wage, buy a car that is really nice and slightly too expensive, have an overpriced wedding to show off to your friends and peers, have kids, buy toys, pay ever increasing bills, do more overtime.
The list just grows and grows, time begins to fly by because you are so busy making ends meet you haven’t got time to think about yourself and what you really want out of your short life. You go from 30 – 50 within a flash!
A man in the UK once told me his theory on life, he reckons that life goes quickly when you are doing the same thing day in and day out, after a few years you can only remember the beginning and the end and everything in-between is just a blur.
So the secret is to have a lot of variety in your life, switching, changing, mixing it up and doing different things, this will create an illusion of a longer life, trust me I’m a surveyor!
Snap out of the trap you are in and be you!
Are you doing what you really want to do?
Ask yourself this, if you didn’t need money for bills and mortgages what would you do with your time? The truth is though we need money, so you must follow something that can produce an income of sorts.
To be you is the question you need to ask yourself, and you won’t be able to answer this question with all the noise that is probably surrounding you at the moment. You are too busy to think, you are too busy to even realize that there is something very wrong with your life, I have been there chasing that dream.
It is very difficult to describe how to get yourself into this mindset, but I do know this, you need to experience something life-changing to realize you are going down the wrong path.
Life changing events that will change your mindset forever!
- Death in the family.
- Bankruptcy – bad investments that lost you a lot of money.
- Sickness, injuries or health issues.
- Travel or trips lasting at least 3 months.
- Job losses – divorces.
- Career changes – lifestyle disruptions.
These are just some of life’s events that can trigger change for you now or in the future, you will not always think the same, and every different part of your life will demand a different version of you, getting very deep!
You may think you have it made, or that you are all that, untouchable, powerful, your shit doesn’t stink but any of these events will probably bring your world as you know it to a halt, especially if you are not prepared for it mentally.
A quote from Tom Hiddleston states:
We all have 2 lives……. the second one starts when we realize we only have one!
This is so true, but you won’t get it until you wake up and realize, which most people don’t or won’t for some weird reason.
……..This brings me to the next topic of happiness!
The Key to a Fulfilled Life:
Good old Tony Robbins is a great man to listen to if you have never listened to his podcasts. There is one particular series where he goes into the 6 Human Needs, these are the certain needs that most of us need to feel whole and feel like we are getting somewhere with our lives.
Certainty/Uncertainty – Certainty that we will be loved or that we will be safe!
Variety – Spice up your life, do different things that excite you
Significance – A feeling of importance – like you matter to someone
Connection/love – You feel connected, a bond understood and loved by somebody
Growth – You are growing, making progress towards a goal, improving
Contribution – A feeling that you are helping someone, or something, giving back
We need at least 3 of these human needs to feel happy and content within oneself. Take a close look at each need and in your own time decide which ones are really important to your life.
Everyone is different, and everyone has been brought up different but we all have the same human needs in some shape or form.
Life has an Amazing way of putting you in the right place if you let it!
I am a firm believer of everything happens for a reason, no matter what that is. That is why it is so important to be who you are, don’t hide the fact that you are a bit wacky, nerdy, funny, laid back, or strange.
By hiding who you really are, you will end up on paths leading you to unhappiness and misery, this goes with all the aspects in your life. By not being yourself you could end up with the wrong;
Husband / Wife / Girlfriend / Boyfriend
Job / Career / Profession
Lifestyle / Passions
By being you life will force you into the right jobs that suit your personality, you will meet the right girl that is compatible with you in every way, you will be more likely be doing what you love for work, your circle of friends will bring the best out of you and you will feel amazing when you hang out together.
Simply by being you, you will be living the type of life that you always dreamt about and be living exactly where you are meant to be.
So don’t pretend to keep a job, girlfriend/boyfriend or a bunch of friends that don’t really care about you, be you, always you and life will flow in the perfect direction!
I personally have lost jobs due to my personality, I can sometimes seem too laid back, not stressed enough in particular situations, making jokes in slightly stressed situations and having too much fun! A lot of people don’t like this kind of personality, it is seen as a risk to the business or a careless attitude, which is not the case it is just the way some people compose themselves in certain situations in life.
But being outed by these particular companies is great, you don’t wont to work with these companies, they will steal your soul and extinguish your fire for life. Living by these rules has enabled me to have greater opportunities than most people, I have had the luxury of working from home for a few years while looking after the kids, windsurfing at lunch, and wearing boardshorts as my work outfit. Only working 4 day work weeks and having 3 day weekends every week.
By being me I attract the right people, the right opportunities, and the right life that suits my soul to enable me to live an extraordinary life on my terms.
So be you and live the right life today!